Read @ Joe’s

Author Stephen Kozeniewski admits this collection is unique. He goes on to challenge the reader to (ahem) bite on in on the unusualness. Yes, I Am A Vampire is a collection of short works (and some are mega-short, microfiction selections) coupled with a lengthy look at his life between 2013-2016. The conjoined result is a glorious read akin to finding a case of opened Twinkies months deep in a raging zombie apocalypse. Kozeniewski’s tales are funny, brutal, and ironically enough, all-too human.

Title: Yes, I Am A Vampire (2024) Author: Stephen Kozeniewski Publisher: French Press Publishing Book jacket: Just trust me, there are no vampires within these pages. Plenty of zombies, though. This isn’t just a short story collection, either. Half of it’s my autobiography. I guarantee you’ve never seen those two styles mashed together before. Joe says: Kozeniewski’s tales are funny, brutal, and ironically enough, all-too human.

Mostly known as the Splatterpunk Award-winning author of Braineater Jones, Kozeniewski’s strong autobiographical entry deserves wider recognition. While his fiction is fun, gross, and even a bit eye-rolling, his non-fiction recounts are must reading for any novice/indie/wannabe writer who is trying to take a stab at a Big 5 publishing deal. Kozeniewski recommends using an ice pick. And staying far away from Permuted Press. 

Each of the short stories are strengthened with recollections not only providing backstory on the tale just read, but more importantly, what was occurring in Kozeniewski’s life at time. Trying to write. Trying to publish. Hoping to get paid. Reading contracts. Getting a divorce. Kozeniewski digs into the life of an indie horror writer and reveals the scariest of the horrors is the tease of making it big.

Of the stories themselves, Kozeniewski has a theme. And not one of vampires, but zombies. The microfiction entries zing with Twilight Zone glee. He includes a YA entry and infuses sci-fi elements in others. His strongest, “The New Dark Ages”, brews together a Dungeons & Dragons stylized campaign occurring with a zombie apocalypse. The romp is adventuresome, humorous, and packs a punishing sting. 

Within Yes, I Am A Vampire, Kozeniewski’s talent dances in the spotlight. Perhaps the only detriment in having this appear on a mainstream bookstore shelf not too far away from King and Koontz (although it really should!) is the slightly-juvenile cover where the dripping title becomes obscured in the surrounding detritus. Regardless of that, Yes, I Am A Vampire absolutely deserves to be read. Then, do yourself a favor, and pick up Kozeniewski’s Broken-Down Heroes of the Western Night, a semi-autobiographical account of two soldiers assigned to a funeral detail. Heroes is more than a book of military stories about Soldiers but rather, one about humanity.

For an author who spends a lot of time dealing with dead creatures, these stories about life and humanity are as strong as a wooden stake.