Title: The Big Get-Even (2018)
Author: Paul Di Filippo
Publisher: Blackstone
Book jacket: A disbarred lawyer and an ex-arsonist cross paths and find themselves organizing an elaborate real estate scam to bilk a shady rich speculator out of twenty million dollars.
Joe says: An unexceptional novel.
Woody Allen has always been prolific. Yet like any artist, he can go through times of mountain top enrichment only to plateau for a period.
Or a decade.
In the early aughts, following the jazz-cool Sweet And Lowdown and before the sexy Match Point, Allen cranked out nearly a movie a year; most were entertainingly mediocre.
So what does Woody Allen have to do with Paul Di Filippo’s, The Big Get-Even? Well for one thing, talking about Woody Allen films, even his less-than-enchanting ones, is a helluva lot more interesting than reviewing this unexceptional novel. And for another, the plot here is thematically similar to the charming-if-slightly-forgettable Small Time Crooks. In that one, Allen, Tracey Ullman, and Michael Rappaport plan to rob a bank via a cookie shop they were using as a front… only to blindly figure out that the cookies brought in a higher payroll than the initial bank job. Hilarity ensues.
Here? Not so much. If anything, this comes with a finale so blatant even the blind director from Hollywood Ending (not one of Allen’s finest) could see it 20/20.
The Big Get-Even is a heist caper with a grift. Although the high points fit the genre, it meanders around at an uncommitted pace.
No snappy chatter.
No sticking-it-to-the-man.
And you know what else? No likable characters either.
I don’t feel sorry that the arsonist – an arsonist – is cheated out of his ill-gotten gains. I don’t understand how the whining lawyer is elevated to that of a Clooney-esque stud. I don’t appreciate that the contribution of all three women in the story is solely – and only – for sex.
The first part of the story is actually – and surprisingly – interesting. Di Filippo lays out his characters of Glen (the lawyer) and Stan (the arsonist), and builds up the premise of the plot. That journey has merit as the story builds. You could see the lightning preceding the on-set of the storm. The neon lights start to flicker. The jazz music starts to score.
But then? Nothing. Just dark clouds resulting in poor vision and a damp time.
No fun.
No electricity.
And a con so dull it can make the Music Man pop like Hip-Hop.
I would like to thank NetGalley and Blackstone Publishing for the ARC… I guess. Even though I think I was hustled into providing a review. And without even getting a cookie. Or any of my time back…
Read @ Joe’s 